Number One

Trusting the people I had hired to help me recover

At first I fought like a wild cat against all their recommendations.
Over time, I re-directed the energy I had put into fighting my team, into fighting my eating disorder.

Number Two

Remembering Why I Started

Recovery was rarely easy. Occasionally there were little wins that helped me see recovery was worth it but my main memories are copious amounts of tears, fears, and feeling like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. The thing that kept me facing forwards was remembering the moment I realized deep down I wanted a better life.

Number Three

Committing To Recovered.

You can’t be ‘a little bit pregnant’. You are either pregnant...or you are not.
In the same way, you can’t have ‘a little bit of an eating disorder’, the cage might be larger, but you are never truly free.
If I wanted a free life, the 10% of my eating disorder that I was keeping up my sleeve as insurance had to go.

In the words of Brene Brown: